Relationships are what you make of them... heard this before? Maybe so, but I may be able to provide some additional insight... throughout my experiences I've learned that although it does take a lot of work to keep a good thing going, it really is quite simple. Live, Listen, Laugh, Love, and Learn... feeling enlightened yet? Just keep reading, just keep reading.. ;-)
1. LIVE - If you want to be a positive influence in your relationships you've got to live a little... or a lot in some cases. Explore life, whether it's traveling the world (or just your community)... get out and about! Go see what's happening outside your little bubble of existence... in my country, we 'Mericans think we're the biggest and the best-est and nowhere's better than the good 'ole U.S. of A. Not saying we're wrong or anything (heh heh... heh) but it's good to see/hear/smell/taste what's outside of our norm. It confines you to egocentrism (I think that's a word) which can literally be depressing... and who wants to be around that? Exactly! So, get out and about and live life to the fullest... at the very least you'll cultivate some interesting stories to share with your camp. YOU'LL NEED STORIES!
2. LISTEN - Can you hear me now? Well, then take out those earplugs and pay attention to those around you. Don't just listen with your ears either... be your own Captain of Awareness in a 'sea of love lyrics.' Pay attention to the not so obvious things like body language, simple gestures may convey a lot... especially combined with tone of voice. Note: this is why you should not argue via text, written words, and even the phone if possible. So much is lost in translation when you're not seeing the whole picture. Listening is an art in itself (check out more on the art of listening here http://www.dumblittleman.com/2009/09/master-art-of-listening-and-watch-all.html)... and like Beyonce sings, "I'll be moving on... if you don't, if you won't (listen)!"
3. LAUGH - this one's my fave! If you're not laughing a lot then you're not living!! Laughter really is the best medicine... I can't remember a time when I ever regretted laughing and I laugh a lot. Loudly. I embarrass my family I laugh so loud sometimes... but I really can't help it (nor do I care)! Sometimes it's even uncontrollable (borderline disorder maybe?). HA! I digress... check out this funny bit: http://youtu.be/3Nj1pf5fY7g. Seriously though (tee hee)... if you can't laugh at all the amazing things in life you are taking things too seriously and missing out on a free and totally natural remedy for all the crap out there that surrounds us and brings us down. There's a lot of bad out there... and it's so easy to let all the bad bring us down. The negativity can literally rot you inside and infect those around you if you're not careful. I've never met a negative person that people didn't want to run from... it can push people away from you and extinguish any flames that are fueling relationships. Speaking of flames, I personally want to thank my dad for teaching me that nothing's funnier than farts (of all kinds and manners... especially the elephant running under your chair kind, and barking spiders... and the ones with wooden props like the dining room table bench sat on at supper time... those made even the tiniest of slip-ups reverberate throughout the whole house!!). Adding flame to it just makes it that much more 'explosive!' So, laugh like nobody's business and good things will happen to you and those fortunate enough to be around you.
4. LOVE - 'Birds do it! Bees do it! Let's fall in love!' Don't be scurred... I know that seems like I'm stating the obvious but there are sooooo many ways to show love. Yeah, you can shower your loved ones with gifts and take them all over the globe (and maybe the universe in the near future), but how do you really love someone? For some, it's in the not-so-obvious things like opening the door for them, taking the trash out, giving them a kiss on the way out the door, or a kiss goodnight (we don't always have the same sleep cycles). It could be making a candlelit dinner one night or watching a special movie together... doesn't have to be a cheesy love story either. He may like 'Star Trek' and 'Kick Ass' too... or the latest documentary on interspecies communication. The intimacy of enjoying time together and a relaxing environment help foster the relationship. Not big on TV or movies? Go to a football game, hunting together or take a day trip to the nearest park... you can even squeeze (or sneak) in a simple picnic here too which can always lead to great meh-mor-eees! Or do something nostalgic like going to the carnival, an amusement park, or watching fireworks together... so many possibilities! The main point here is to share moments together and enjoy each other's company. Sometimes we get so busy in our lives that we don't take the time to pause and just enjoy being in the company of those we love. It really can be hard to do it, but once you do you'll truly be glad you did and won't want to stop.
Another fun link: http://youtu.be/IBB0M8mQeL4
5. LEARN - "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return." ~ from 'Nature Boy' by Eden Ahbez. This one really trumps all... how can you love someone and not learn anything from? Part of making relationships work is compromise; even if you find someone that is so much like you it's spooky (like to the point where you start wondering if mom did have that affair with the milk man and you may have run into your long lost sibling! Yikes!!), you are not the same person and are bound to have differences from time to time. Those differences are what keep us unique... which is not a bad thing; it's essential to have your own life, find your own happiness in being and loving yourself before you could even begin to give love to another. Any-who! I like to call it learning though rather than compromising... learning from others and throughout all your encounters is sooooo incredibly important. And, we learn throughout our entire lives so it's natural, not difficult. We had to learn to speak, learn to read, to walk, make the bed, play with others, etc. And, we have to learn to live with others... learn about how others live, how they cook, clean, what makes them happy and sad, if they like to pee with the door open, how they fold the towels... you get the gist. But, there's more to it than that! Even throughout all the spats and tough times we learn how to deal with all the differences... it's imperative you never use what you learn against them. "With great power comes great responsibility" ~ Stan Lee. You must use the knowledge wisely and not to hurt someone in the heat of the moment. Let's say your arguing about who makes the best Arroz con Pollo... you like to cook the chicken one way and his machismo brings out that little devil on his shoulder that swears he is always right!! Keep it fair and avoid the temptation to throw the chicken at him... literally, don't throw things at each other. It never helps. Instead, learn from one another about what parts of the meal you each like the best and figure out a way to merge them together to make your own perfect version! Then use that analogy for everything else you disagree on. I could go on and on and on about this whole learning thing... let's sum it up with this: There's a reason for that oh so famous phrase, "You complete me." People are like big complex puzzles... sitting on the shelf just waitin' to get picked up, studied, and then stuck together in that aha moment.
Get it? Got it? Good. Now, take what you've learned and go forth my little love chickens. Live, listen, laugh, love, and learn... the rest comes naturally.
No comments:
Post a Comment