One Upper Crusades: 5 Ways to Stop a Constant Interrupter

Ever been in the middle of telling your friends, family or coworkers about the incredible trip you took over the weekend or the exciting sat-on-the-edge-of-your-seat-the-entire-time movie you watched and, next thing you know, some moron rudely interrupts right in the middle of it all to loudly tell their completely unrelated and clearly irrelevant experience they had last year at the local Stop-n-Shop? You know the one... the loud-mouth buffoon that can't let anyone else get an intelligent word in edgewise. They just CANNOT wait for anyone to finish a sentence before blurting out, "Oh! No, wait! Get this!!..." Yeah... that one. It gives me the sudden urge to bop 'em right on the nose like an over-stimulated puppy, and then condescendingly explain that they must wait their turn like everyone else on the playground.

Is it my turn? It's my turn right?!?

To be perfectly honest, I'm sure I've done it once or twice myself... as a kid maybe! And, my mother or grandmother appropriately snapped, "Susannah Lynn (in the most southern fashion and using as many syllables as possible), we do NOT interrupt when others are speaking!" as I cowered into the nearest corner dropping my head down in shame. I honestly don't believe these child-like individuals intentionally interrupt everyone around them whenever the slightest hint of an opportunity presents itself. However, it's extremely rude nonetheless. And, some of them appear to relish in their fatuous behavior... vaguely appearing interested (as though they really give a hoot or even heard a word you've said) waiting for that ripe moment to destroy any chance of our seemingly boring renditions, exclaiming, "Oh my Gawd! That's nothing compared to when me and so-and-so took that trip to (insert cliche Spring Break destination here) last summer and... blah, blah, blah" ...you get the picture.

Here's a few ideas on how to stop these narcissistic convo-obstructers right in their tracks! Of course, there's the obvious and not-so-subtle option of crying out, "Excuse me! I'm not finished yet you little (insert expletive here)" but you end up coming off a bigger jerk than they are... So, why not try one of these suggestions for correcting your little interrupting Ingrid.

1. Humor (always my favorite!) - Upon the heckler's rude interruption, make a joke... something like, "Okay Helen, you've failed me for the last time! You're fired!" Yes, it's at their expense but no need to be rude or insensitive... just a little light humor to distract them while you take back the reins. Plus, it fulfills their need to be the center of attention, so as long as you're not all Cruella Deville about it they might actually enjoy the humor in the situation and bow out of the conversation.

2. Posturing - Next time Uncle Harry just can't keep his mouth shut about how he was so ticked off because the Quick Mart was out of his favorite pack of tobacc-er for the ump-teenth time this month, simply position yourself in front of him and continue on with your story speaking just loudly enough that you overshadow him... he'll hopefully get the picture and pipe down while you finish your conversation. Equally effective technique if you ever find yourself surrounded by wolves in the wild, but I digress...

3. Kill 'em with Kindness - Butter them up by quickly complementing them on how spectacular they look in their cute new dress, "Oh my goodness, you're sooooo pretty today!" Hint: this is not as effective if you laugh while saying it. Or tell him how smart he looks with his new tie... contrary to the female version, it is okay here to ask them if their mom helped them get dressed that morning (guys can take the sarcasm a little better). Then, just as quickly take over the conversation again while continuing your tale. They'll probably be a little dumbfounded at first. But, then their little egos will be bursting with joy while, there again, feeling like the center of attention. 

4. Time Out! - Bluntly, call them out (not to be confused with the Nazi-like response previously described, but more so in the parent-ly way of disciplining those that can't follow the rules of engagement). Simply present them with their dunce cap (you did have this prop already prepared right?) and banish them to the corner. I mean, if they're going to act like a spas-tastic kitten on catnip put their little butts back in the cage. Tell them they can come out when they learn to act like the rest of the grown folks.

5. Join in the Fun - Last resort: humor them for the moment... laugh and carry on about how epic their latest incantation of 'Girls Gone Wild' must have been. Giving in to their whims may seem like you're throwing in the towel, but eventually everyone will lose interest in their antics and scatter back to their respective cubes muttering along the way, "I can't believe Laura did that again... what a loser!" Don't think of it as failure, rather an opportunity to show how amicable and respectful you can be amongst such chodes. All the while, continuing to plan your attack for the next interaction with li'l Honey Boo Boo. It's a win, win here.

It can be unnerving to say the least, feeling like you're in some sort of competition with these flagrant infuriaters... However, consider it a challenge and come up more ingenious ways of dealing with all the one-uppers in your life while maintaining your composure. What would you do?

photo credits: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/aisack/3853320929/">aisack</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/demibrooke/2336528544/">db Photography | Demi-Brooke</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">cc</a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ecocentrik/3348310749/">Rafael Robayna - ecocentrik.com</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a> <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/malingering/96196791/">Malingering</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">cc</a>